Ending a relationshipÂ… maybe?

[Littleleaf]

I feel like I need to end my relationship. I am not especially happy but I do love the person and our lives are really entwined so it feels impossible.
I feel like I wouldnÂ’t be able to cope with the social fallout, how isolated it would make me and how few friends I would have after. I already struggle with social anxiety enough as it is.
And i have low self esteem, i dont think I would bother to date if we broke up.

I canÂ’t imagine the relationship getting better, I have tried to talk about the issues I have but honestly I think almost all the hurtful things they do are ingrained and they hide rather than deal with them or own them (cheating, being derogatory about weight gain), or baggage from their previous relationship which had little to no intimacy or communication. Our relationship started off with great intimacy and communication but now all we have left is physical intimacy and they almost never listen to me.
Despite all that I really dont want to end it. I just donÂ’t know what to do when the issues we are having that are making me so unhappy are things I canÂ’t do any more (IÂ’ve already done all I can) to fix and they donÂ’t seem especially active in sorting them either. As far as Im aware they agree with me on all of the above, im not perfect at all but ive not actually done anything genuinely upsetting to them such as cheating or lying and they have, repeatedly. To be clear to my knowledge they havenÂ’t slept with anyone else but they have (even in front of me)flirted and tried to get with other peopled so it wouldnÂ’t shock me of they had at all. They say they want to do better, but I really donÂ’t understand why its hard for them now when they found it so easy before.

It feels less like they care and more like I'm being placated some days. I moved to live near them, which they suggested and then they seemed annoyed that I did it. I canÂ’t see us getting married or living together. I donÂ’t have anyone else waiting in the wings and am comfortable being single, but I dont seem able to end the relationship and I feel huge anxiety over it all.

[Littleleaf]

Any advice would be appreciated, I feel so conflicted

[Fishmanpa]

With what you described, I would have been gone a long time ago.

FMP

[WiredIncorrectly]

I'm 7 months out of a bad relationship. I loved her. I still love her. But when the relationship is causing you this much hurt it's time to call it day. For your own sanity and health.

We were together 14 years. Many great times together. But also lots of arguments where we screamed at each other. Never listened to each other. We were stuck in the trap of feeling like we can't live without each other. We both couldn't imagine our lives separated.

I have a moto in life. If somebody cheats, I don't care how intertwined we are it's over. It's done. When a person can hurt you like that they didn't love you in the first place.

In the UK we had this TV talk show called Jeremy Kyle. It was awful. But I will never forget the one thing he said which rings true: "People will treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you".

By remaining in a bad relationship, you are allowing the other person to treat you this way.

Your life will be a lot better than it currently is once the wounds have healed. I can promise you that.